you will always have a home to go back to.

i am SO ready to be back home. where my heart won't feel so empty.

i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE living here in portland. i love this city. i love (most of) the people (besides that bastards that stole my purse). and yes, i still LOVE the rain. this is a beautiful place to be. in fact, one day, i may end up here again. but right now, my heart needs to be where my family is. the bottom line is, loving the city i live in is just not worth the price of being away from my family and lifetime friends.

when i made this move, i honestly did not expect it to be this hard to be so far away from my loved ones. and believe me, i did not come up here with ANY intention of only staying five months. i came up here solely for adventure and a personal growth opportunity, and that's excatly what i got. i have learned more about myself in the past five months than i have in five years. i have more confidence today - both personally and professionally - than i have ever had. and that is a fabulous feeling.

i wouldn't change my experience here in oregon for anything. it has opened my eyes, my heart, and my soul to many new discoveries. it just wouldn't be fair to my department or my store for me to stay here and ride out these feelings, hoping things will get better, when my heart isn't in it. i definitely feel like i am leaving something good behind at the square, and i am insanely proud of that.

unfortunately, i do not have a position waiting for me back in san diego. my fingers are crossed i find something over the next couple weeks, but this journey may mean the end of my career with the blue box. and though it breaks my heart to say it, it may be time.

i am a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason". so i will hold my head high with hope in my heart and my fingers crossed.